Sonia & the wall of bread
The move to LA was almost 10 years ago now. I felt trapped in a life that was too small. I always knew even as a kid, I would never live in my native Switzerland. It was always clear to me I would get the hell out of it. I never felt like I had the freedom to explore creativity. I really wanted to go to New York, truth be told. I went to UCLA to take a music business and music production program. I couldn’t find anything equivalent in New York at a decent price. I got here by accident.
I remember when I first moved to LA, I went to a supermarket to buy some bread and I just started crying. I was so overwhelmed. It was a wall of bread and I was like, “What the fuck is this?” Why do you guys have 55 different types of bread? None of them don’t have sugar. We completely underestimate the amount of energy it takes to adapt to a new environment. I’ve learned to rely on myself more than ever. Be okay with being alone. Be okay with discovering things by myself. It’s been difficult, especially the first five years. I have some survival skills here.
I started writing music later on in life then most people. I was so vulnerable when I first started opening myself up to being a musician. If you don’t find the right people it can shut you down. I worked with someone who convinced me I could never do music without him and held onto my tracks and I had to fight to get my music. I had to push through and realize this wasn’t the only way for me to make music. Once I realized I could do this myself it was amazing. I had to build that confidence and this is what my last album was all about. It was a lot of processing that experience. It went full circle.
[On the creative process] I feel like I’m less insecure. I don’t panic when I hit a roadblock. I know there’s going to be a way around. Or embracing the procrastination. Not seeing it as a bad thing. Sometimes I need to lay down and look at the ceiling for a while. Not trying to squeeze things out of myself as much. Maybe I only write four, five songs a year and that’s actually okay. I experience life and then I start writing stuff and sometimes it makes sense and sometimes it doesn’t.
A big part is seeing that I did it. I did record and produce and put out some music that people listen to. It worked. Just let go of what it should be and embrace your sound and process where it’s at. It’s interesting how once you open up, the people start showing. I feel it’s a more peaceful process now.
When we were kids we were not allowed to watch TV when it was daytime. We would be outside all the time. The little birds and forests and trees were all around. I think it’s that amazing connection to what’s real. Nature is real. It brings you back to what’s important in life. We should always be in harmony with nature and try to live as respectfully of nature as possible. When we live in a huge city, like LA, it’s easy to forget. It’s going back to the essence of what life is really about.
I chant every day. Morning and evening. It’s grounding. It’s very much a process of uncovering the self. Tapping into you or anyone’s highest potential. Life is just so precious. Whenever I feel stuck, whenever I feel doubt, whenever I feel anything that keeps me from moving freely, I can unlock that through my Buddhist practice. You get into a state where you feel calmer and see things more clearly. Sometimes it’s hard because you have to face your own demons. On the other end of that there’s so much more freedom and so much more creativity and so much more confidence.
This is the last year of my 30’s and I’m really excited about the next decade somehow. I’m embracing what’s to come. My birthday was last week, and I was having this conversation with my mom and she was like, “Sonia the best is yet to come.”
We choose what we want to experience in this lifetime. We don’t even know how much time we have. How much life can I pack into this time? I don’t want to waste it by doing mindless things. Time is all we have.
It’s hard to keep it up. We live in a world where there’s always something worse. We can’t avoid it. We have to find ways not only to cope, but to tap into much deeper energy to turn it around. We have that power as human beings to turn things around. It’s a constant battle against our own negativity at the end of the day.
Even though a lot of things seem bleak out there, there’s also a lot of smaller connections that are so powerful. Every single human being has choices and actions. Even small things. Do you connect with your community? Do you connect with your neighbors? What’s your relationship with your barista? There’s so much power in those kinds of grassroots relationships we have on a daily basis. We need to value that more than all the stuff we have no control over. If we can create a little positivity in our direct environment every day, it can actually make a difference in the long run.
Sonia Schmidt | April 9, 2022
